Pregnancy Update

I haven't written much about this pregnancy, so I better say something to have on record even just for myself. I have been measuring big since my 20 week appointment; but it seems like I'm measuring bigger each appt. My diabetes test was great and my blood pressure has always been good, so diabetes and preeclampsia weren't a cause for concern. I have been up to a month ahead, so they decided to do an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. Well, at my ultrasound appt. she said I was measuring 38 weeks (I was actually only 33 weeks at the appt.). When she checked the baby she said he was measuring about 2 weeks ahead and that she thinks they have been measuring me wrong because my uterus was lower than she thought. All in all, she said no cause for alarm. I will probably just have a big baby. I might have to be induced early, but I'm hoping that if anything happens early it'll be on the baby's terms.

I do look huge though. People keep saying, "wow, you look like you're going to be done any day now!" I politely smile and say, "any day or two more months. I'd prefer to wait."

(notice my huge arms? How embarrassing!)

How am I feeling? Well, tired. Most of the time I'm okay, just tired, but there are moments throughout each day where I feel nauseas or have a splitting headache or I just don't think I can handle one more tantrum. I have been impatient and sad and that just makes me even more impatient and sad. Heartburn plagues me every day almost all day. I wake up to go to the bathroom 3-5 times a night, my back is killing me, everything looks swollen and I don't feel very pretty ever. James says he remembers all this when I was pregnant with Ezra, but when you're in the middle of it, it's hard to imagine ever feeling normal again. Pregnancy is hard, but I'm not saying I won't do it again as many more times as we are asked to. There is nothing like feeling that tiny baby move around inside of me; part of me, but an individual too. It's the best part if you ask me.

Someone asked me yesterday if I'm ready to have another one. If he had asked me even the day before I probably would've said no, but I am starting to feel anxious and excited for our little one to join our family. I'll be sadly honest, it has taken me a very long time to feel excited about having another baby. I wanted one and we felt like it was the right time, but I have been feeling so sad about losing my buddy-time with Ezra that it has made it hard to be positive. I feel like this pregnancy has drained the life out of me, so it has been hard to imagine having the energy to take care of a crazy toddler and a needy newborn, but I have faith that I can handle it.

We are having a hard time deciding on a name. My friend Kelsey just blogged about how she and her husband agree on names 100% of the time. I just had to laugh because it seems like James and I disagree on names 100% of the time. Maybe I should rephrase that... James hates any name I spout out at him 100% of the time. Ezra calls him "boy" and that works for now. He also watched him moving for the first time today and now he won't stop lifting up my shirt to see him move again. As hard as this pregnancy has been on me, I am getting so excited for him to come, so I really shouldn't be complaining. I couldn't be more excited about having another boy right now too. At first I wanted a girl, but I've gotten used to the idea of having two boys and now I just can't wait!

Big Boy Bed

Ezra is no longer in a crib. It was a sad transition for me. Since getting rid of the mimi, he would not stay in the crib so we figured it was time to get him a big boy bed. He has also been having such a hard time sleeping anywhere, so I wanted it to be a fun and exciting transition for him. We found a Thomas the Train bed on craigslist and I just had to get it for him. Ezra didn't really know who Thomas the Train was, but now he loves Thomas! He is always asking for "Thomas" and he has a newly developed fascination with trains right now. When we went to look at the bed he was so excited. He ran up to it and gave Thomas "nosies". You can probably figure out what that means... He loves his new bed! Now the challenge is getting him to sleep in it.

The first couple of weeks I was still finding him on the floor in the hallway several times during the night. I would pick him up and put him back in his bed and then within an hour and a half he'd be right back in the hall. I started leaving the living room light on and that seems to keep him in his room, but I was still finding him on the floor sleeping. I continued my routine of picking him up and putting him back and then I finally decided to just leave him there one night. Since then (only the past two nights) he has been sleeping in his bed. I haven't found him on the floor!! However, bedtime takes about 1.5-2.5 hours each night and then he is up usually by 7 which is too early for me. I was used to his bedtime of 8:30pm and waking up at 9am or later :( Who knew that saying farewell to mimi and his crib would mean no more sleep for Ezra or mommy? Oh well. I think he is starting to adjust and he loves when we call him a big boy, so that makes it all worth it.

In other news... James got a new job at Walmart and has been in training for the past couple of weeks. So far so good, but he is nervous about being good at it. I think he'd be good at anything he put his mind to, so I'm not worried. Yesterday was his day off, so he and I took Ezra to the zoo. We started with the ducks. Ezra really enjoyed throwing food at them, but when we tried to get him to feed the goats out of his hand, he was not interested. He loved all the animals, but he especially loved the ones that didn't move. He went around feeding all of them.

Then we took him to the mall and realized just how hard it is getting to take a toddler anywhere! We need to bring our leash everywhere we go or we might come home without a baby one of these days :( And trust me... as tough as the terrible twos have been so far, we still really like Ezra and he still manages to squeeze in moments of pure parenthood joy in between those tantrums and violent outbreaks.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!

He Loves Me

I hate that James has to work. I hate that he has to leave the house and be gone for a certain number of hours 5+ days a week. I especially hate the fact that I am supposed to be okay with him leaving and working and I should feel so proud of him, but I really just don't like it. I am needy. I like my husband and I like him to be with me. However, while on his lunch/dinner break today he looked at me and said, "You look really pretty right now. I like spending time with you. It makes me happy." Melt. That makes it all okay. My husband loves me. Sometimes I don't know why and sometimes I think that if I were him I wouldn't love me. But still, he loves me and I am blessed.

Farewell Mimi!

We have been finally made the sad and difficult decision to cold turkey the "mimi" aka pacifier. (Ezra called it his mimi for some reason even though he could say binky and the name just stuck.) I love the mimi almost as much as Ezra does. He is so good at going to sleep and snuggling as long as he has his mimi. It was his best friend. Well, all good things must come to an end. We decided one day that that was the day to throw it away. Ezra screamed and cried until he was able to climb out of his crib and come to the hallway to cry. He eventually fell asleep on the floor in the hallway and slept there two nights in a row. Realizing that the crib was no longer useful, we turned it into a toddler bed. Ezra didn't like that one bit. James thinks he's just suffering withdrawals from missing his mimi. Last night when we were putting him to bed he pointed to the couch in his room, like he does every night and said, "nuzzle". I just can't resist a plea to snuggle. We snuggled for about 5 minutes and then I tried the bed again. He was not having it. Again he pointed to the couch and said, "nuzzle". I picked up his puppy and blankets and made a bed for him on the couch and quickly closed the door waiting for his screams. Silence. He slept through the night and didn't even fall off. I just love that little snuggle bug. I guess our plans of getting rid of the couch to fit a toddler bed in that room have changed. It has only been 2.5 days without mimi and so far we're all surviving!

You have been good to us for almost 2 years. Thank you mimi for all the tears you have stopped and the sleep you have provided us with. Please stand by for 3 more months; we will surely meet again.

Mother's Day (better late than never)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mom:

10. She cleans my dishes with a toilet brush
  9. She loves to spoil Ezra with toys and enough candy to give him diabetes
  8. She loves me unconditionally and always has
  7. She would do anything for me
  6. She gives me compliments and makes me feel like I'm doing alright
  5. She misses us before we've even left
  4. She has a big sweet tooth like me and is always ready to have a treat
  3. She is human and has had her share of pain
  2. She loves giving gifts and will do anything to help her kids have a good Christmas or birthday
  1. She would lay down her life for me without thinking twice

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mother-In-Law

10. Without her I would not have the amazing husband that I do
  9. She is always looking out for us and trying to take care of us
  8. She loves Ezra and loves to spoil him with toys and goodies
  7. She would take my side over James' side even if he was right
  6. She loves getting her nails done and thinks it's alright that I love that too
  5. She supports her grandkids in anything they set out to do
  4. She gave me a foot massage and let me rest my feet on her lap
  3. Even in her darkest hours she did what she needed to for her kids
  2. She wants to own two white tigers when she gets to heaven and I think that's cute

  1. She lives for her kids and grandkids and has willingly and lovingly accepted me as one of her own

Moms aren't perfect and they don't have to be, but one thing that I have learned from being a mother is how much they love their kids. It's the kind of love that I believe brings us closer to heaven's love. To my two beautiful mothers, I love you and I am so honored to call you family. Happy Mother's Day!

Sharing my secret...

So I tried to keep my pregnancy a secret for as long as I could. I wanted to surprise my family when they came out for my GRADUATION the beginning of April. Keeping it a secret from people around here was quite hard because I started showing at 10 weeks. Right away people were asking me when I was due and if I knew what I was having. How embarrassing. I tried to make sure that everyone knew it was a secret, so I could still surprise my family. Well, it worked out! My mom got out of the car and ran towards Ezra for a hug. She didn't say anything when she saw me. I was really nervous that she'd be upset or maybe she just wouldn't notice. Well, as soon as her attention turned to me she pointed to my belly and turned to my dad and just said, "I knew it! I just knew it!" My dad said I just looked like I had eaten too many watermelon seeds. It was a great surprise. My mom has been asking me if I was pregnant literally since the day we found out we were, so I have been lying all this time. It was fun keeping it a secret though. She was really surprised when she found out that at that time I was 22 weeks and already knew what I was having. I promised that with our next baby I will tell her right away. Although, I'm pretty sure I promised her that after we had Ezra too :) SURPRISE!

For graduation my parents bought me a trip to visit my sister in Arizona. She just had her second baby and I couldn't wait to meet him! Of course we all decided to make it a surprise. We had Ezra and I hide in another room when they got to the house we were staying at. I decided to just let Ezra out and see what she would say. All I heard was, "Is Kayleen here?" I came running out and she gave me a hug, not noticing my belly. She poked me in the stomach and called me a terd or something of that nature. I just said, "careful Jenn, there's a baby in there." DOUBLE SURPRISE! It was so fun being out there and getting to play with my nephews! I miss them already. My nephew Chase taught Ezra a thing or two about how to speak gibberish. Chase can carry on full conversations in his own language and every time I tried to respond back in gibberish he would start by saying, "NO" and then continue with his thoughts. SO FUNNY!

Sadly, I did not take many pictures from my graduation or my trip to Arizona, but I hope to get some from my mom soon. She's actually coming back to visit us today! Ezra has been asking where Nana is since we left Arizona so it'll be fun to have her back. I'll also probably blog more about being pregnant and Ezra's latest as soon as I can find the energy and time.

Come August I will be outnumbered 3 to 1!

Easter Sunday

We had a great Easter. Here's Ezra when James and I went to get him in the morning...

Here's what he found when he came in the living room. It was James' idea to blow up balloons because we know how much Ezra loves them.

Through it all he eventually found his Easter basket.

He didn't really notice anything else in his basket other than this Cars book. Though he did find the candy later on in his, mine and James' baskets and he kept sneaking it. This kid will literally bite a tinfoil wrapped candy in half and start eating. Yuck!

During conference we stuck Ezra in his crib with all these balloons to keep him occupied for a little while. It surprisingly worked well. If he wasn't in his crib throwing them he was on the ground kicking them.

James and I made crepes with buttermilk syrup, a yummy dinner, and homemade cinnamon rolls to celebrate the special day. Okay, I made all those, but James helped here and there and I was so glad to have his help. Then he and Ezra went for a walk while I finished dinner and cleaned the house for company to come. Our friends are moving, so we had a game night to say good-bye. We had a little Easter egg hunt for the kids and Ezra had a blast. He especially loved opening the eggs and eating the jellybeans. We're still playing with the balloons and I'm still trying to get my house clean and ready for company... My parents are coming tomorrow for my graduation and I can't wait! I finished my last final ever today and now I just have normal class until tomorrow! Wahoo!

Growing Up

Ezra was a little newborn baby once. Then all of a sudden he turned into a toddler. Every stage is so exciting, but if I stop to realize that while entering a new stage that also means we have forever passed a stage, I can't help but feel baby hungry. Not for just any baby, baby Ezra.

I was thinking today how bad I feel for Ezra sometimes because he had to be my first. I am making the most mistakes with him and vowing to not repeat them, but poor Ezra is already doomed. I'd feel that way no matter which baby I had first. Don't you ever just wish you could know and do everything exactly right? Exactly the way God would want you to? Though I will admit that it is in those moments of mommy mistakes that I come to love my family and my Savior so much more. Not to mention, Ezra is so forgiving. He doesn't care that I forgot to brush his teeth tonight. He doesn't remember me forcing him to change his diaper this morning. I hope he doesn't remember me trying to stay in bed as long as I could this morning even when he was begging me to get him ten different things. He doesn't remember for now that is...

Ezra has been begging to either watch Cars, Elmo or play the Wii every second of every day. James and I are trying our best to find other things to fill his time. We decided to sit down and play with play doh this week and Ezra got more into it than he ever has. The boy in him is really coming out the older he gets.

Daddy made a snowman...

And Ezra decided to knock it down. Poor James.

Who wouldn't love waking up to this face everyday?

Everytime I come in to get him he says, "hi" with the biggest smile and then points to something he has had his eye on while waiting for me to get him. I could just eat him.

Ezra's hair has been getting a little wild. I won't lie, I really like his long, fluffy do. I just don't like his mullet. So, today I went to wal-mart, bought a clipper set, and asked James to cut it. We have cut his hair several times in his life already, but his hair was so long this time that it was a little sad to say good-bye. He just looks so much older with short hair :(

Pre-cut

During cut- he sat like this watching mickey mouse for a good chunk of the time

And almost done! So sad.

This is the best $2 I have ever spent. He loved it, I loved and I couldn't stop laughing at him. Especially when he would hand me the ball and right when I threw it he would say, "miss!" I didn't always miss, he just has sass. Then he would score and get so excited.

"Did you see that?"

I don't usually like to complain about the stress of school and mommy life, but I think finally being able to see the end of the road is making me a little more anxious and stressed. I have been losing it too often. I feel like I am constantly focusing on homework and what I need to do to make sure I graduate and I haven't spent enough time at home or playing with Ezra. I just feel like I'm missing him grow up. I can't wait to graduate and wake up to an entire day spent with my baby. Maybe then I'll wish I was still in school, but I can't wait nonetheless. Ezra, please wait for me. Don't turn 18 in the next two weeks, please!

Allergy, Allergy, Go Away!

Just when we were thinking Ezra was growing out of his allergy, he reminds us that this superbaby's kryptonite still comes from cows. He was sick all last weekend and literally didn't eat anything! Okay, maybe a couple pretzels here and there, but he wouldn't try anything else. I made sure to load him up on any liquids including all the juice he kept asking for just to try to compensate. Well, yesterday he was feeling better, no fever and jumping all over everything. I decided to give him some mac and cheese, which he loves, so I knew if he was feeling well then he would surely go for that. He did eat some of it, but not too many bites in and his face swelled up, his eyes got red and itchy and on came the hives. I was so sad. I'm sure he was sad too.

Several months back James and I decided to give him milk in little increments each day to try to get him used to it. I guess that's what happened because the second we stopped, his allergy reappeared. I can't complain too much, because he did get to the point where he could tolerate almost anything except direct milk, so maybe there is still hope. My 4 year old niece is really allergic to dairy too, but she can't seem to tolerate even the slightest bit of milk. I just can't imagine living in a world where ice cream wasn't the cure to everything.