Sickie Sickies

I cursed myself. I recently had the thought, "Gee, my kids haven't been sick in awhile. Not even just a little cold." Literally the next week Ezra got sick and we've passed it amongst us since. I know I'm awful, but there is something so tender about little sickies. They snuggle, they sit still, they look so pathetic that you can't help but do anything and everything for them. When Ezra was sick, so was I so we lounged on the couch watching TV all day together while Makai ran free and caused trouble. Ezra got over his fairly quickly. I'm still fighting something and now Makai has it. 

We went to a preschool celebration for Ezra and Makai just cried and clung to me. Ezra's teacher said, "Oh my goodness, I have never seen that boy even the slightest bit sad." My thought was, "He wants his mommy over all these toys. As sad as it is, I'll take what I can get."

I took him to church today (I just kept him with me) because I had some things I needed to take care of. I sat down in the beginning of my last meeting and said, "I'll leave in about fifteen minutes." Makai threw up on me right after I said that. I then said, "Nevermind, I guess I'm leaving now." He went straight to bed and barely woke up for dinner. In my family you get just about whatever you want when you're sick, so Makai ate bananas, a little bit of cantaloupe and had soda. (my favorite memory of my mom taking care of me while sick is the soda I always got to have, so don't judge me :)

The worst part is when they get fevers and they shake or especially when they're moaning. It breaks my heart. I gave him a bath tonight after dinner and he refused to sit. He just stood there clinging to the side of the tub screaming and shaking. I finally convinced him to sit down and he slowly wobbled and shook the whole way down. It was so sad.

Sometimes I long for slower days when Makai just sits still and snuggles with me or doesn't make a mess for 30 minutes. Then I have a day like today and take it all back. 

I miss this little boy:

I had a couple horrible dreams last night about losing these beautiful boys, or not being the one protecting them or me leaving them for some reason. I hate those dreams that wake you up in a panic and in tears. I hate the feelings that linger and the fact that you sometimes just can't get that dream out of your head. And now as I think of those dreams I am thinking about how I snapped at Ezra today for bouncing on me or how maybe I put Makai down too quickly instead of snuggling him more. I love my bundles and I hope I do enough that they always know that.

Mother/Son Date Knight

Last week the boys and I took a date to Chick-fil-a for their Mother/Son Date Knight. I actually like Chick-fil-a. It's fantastic as far as fast food places go. They are always having activities, it's yummy and they're closed on Sundays. My friend Kelsey, author of modern.healthy.mom, is likely gagging at me saying that. Sorry :) It could be worse.

They had Medieval Times sponsor the event for us. It was very well decorated and there were many medieval characters wandering around through dinner. They even took a pic of us when we came in and had it printed before we left. I'll have to scan it because it was a really cute pic of the boys :) 

We sat down, had a server, were given crowns, Knight shields to design and bunch of conversation questions for moms to ask their boys. It was great. They even gave us a plate with a chocolate covered strawberry, chocolate drizzled marshmallow and grapes.

Makai quickly snagged that chocolate covered strawberry. 

Ezra grabbed the marshmallow. He was beyond excited to be a Knight!

Then Makai snagged the marshmallow from Ezra too.

They had a jester make balloon swords for everyone. Makai went a little wild and popped his right away, which made Ezra cry because that's what we do when Makai goes wild.

Ezra still has his a week later.

These were some of the performers walking around entertaining us during our meal.

It was a wonderful event. Any business that supports the family makes my happy list. Ezra still talks about that cow. Makai would not stop giving him high fives and waving to him. I think the cow took a minute to breathe before we left and it made Makai so sad that he couldn't say good-bye. So silly.

Little Makie

No, I haven't squeezed him to death or taken real bites out of his arms or cheeks yet.

He's still causing trouble and getting away with it every day. Darn those heart-melting grins and giggles. 

Today Makai and I had a little date while Ezra was in preschool. Normally we just play at home because I feel guilty going any where fun without Ezra, but it was beautiful today, so we went to the beach. We took our shoes off, walked in the sand and threw sticks in the water. He was completely soaked by the end of our date, but had such a blast. I loved watching him explore all on his own without the example of Ezra to mimic. It was so cute seeing how independent he became and what things interested him. We stayed until he decided he was done and started walking back to the car. We came home, rinsed our feet in the bath and I tried to work out. He wouldn't stop hugging me and jumping on me, so it was hard to work out, but so worth the loves. I think that was his way of thanking me for our date :)

He's talking a lot more and has just started putting a couple of words together. Usually it's, "No, naw-ee (naughty), go." He likes to scold Ezra a lot. He tells me stories and requires some kind of response or interjection. There are still a couple sounds that I can't figure out what words they are supposed to be, but for the most part he's easy to understand.

He still loves animals. His favorite right now is a horse.

He has started hitting which is such a challenge because "time out" hardly fazes him and he usually goes right back to hitting after a time out. He is good about giving hugs and saying "saw-ee". And Ezra has yet to hit him back which makes me so proud.

He loves to be outside. He could explore outside all day long. 

He still loves his "bee-bee" (binky). I haven't tried to take it away yet. I think it's going to be awhile. He doesn't just have one binky at night, he usually has to have at least two. If I don't give him two, he somehow finds one. We are always losing them and he is always finding them. I think he hides them.

He sits so still on daddy's lap and adores him and spending time with him.

He loves to spill water. He dumps water on the floor at least once a day. You'd think we'd learn our lesson and not leave water where he can get it, but it's kind of impossible with a 3 year old who drinks out of big boy cups and a trusting mom who thinks that he will really just drink it this time. At least it's water.

He is becoming picky about what jammies he wears and makes a point to protest if I pick the wrong ones.

He loves to sing. His favorite songs are action songs, especially "bringing home a baby bumblebee", "Popcorn Popping" and "itsy bitsy spider". 

He's a good eater. You cannot leave food anywhere in his reach without him finding it. You can't eat food without him mooching (even if he just had dinner). He just doesn't stop eating if it's available. 

He is still very expressive and is becoming quite a grunter/squawker. He makes the saddest little face when he's in trouble or doesn't get his way and it makes us laugh every time. He knows he's cute. He'll usually put his head on the table, close his eyes and rest there for about 15 seconds. Then he'll lift his head smiling and expect us to be smiling too. We always are. 

He likes to brush his teeth, but doesn't always like when mommy takes over or starts it for him.

He hates holding my hand in public. He refuses to hold my hand across the road which results in him being carried and attempting suicide out of my arms.

He would run until he crashed if there was someone to chase or someone chasing him. He and Ezra run in circles around a pole in the basement. It's becoming part of their bedtime routine. I honestly pick him up mid run and put him to bed. He just doesn't stop moving.

He enjoys playing with cars and is constantly saying, "beep beep".

He knows most of his body parts and loves his eyes and belly button the most.

He's still learning animal noises, but is good at: dog, cat, horse, lion and duck.

He says his own little prayers. He folds his arms, mumbles a bunch of noises, unfolds his arms and says, "ay ay"(amen).

We love this little squish so much. He keeps me busy and greatly contributes to my hair turning white, but he is just too cute to get mad at. It's bad news, but they're only little and adorable for a limited amount of time, so I can't help myself.

The Bitter Side of Blogs/Facebook

Sometimes it's hard not to compare yourselves to other families. At least it's hard for me. Though I have talked to too many people to pretend I'm alone here. Some families have more money, nice houses, grown-up jobs, cuter, amazingly talented kids, are craftier, more fun and overall better, right?

 I recently deleted Facebook. There are several reasons why I did, but the one I will share is that it simply does not feel good to be caught up in what other people are doing sometimes. I reactivated it recently and part of me wishes I hadn't. Too many sad stories or overly fluffy stories. Too many preachy stories and excessively braggy stories. The minute you have something worth sharing, someone else has something that trumps it and there goes the excitement.

Sometimes I feel like right when I start improving or doing something that I am proud of, I notice the world of other people I know or used to know who have been there and done that. I hate that these feelings are as real as they are sometimes. But I know we all have moments of coveting, so I am wondering how we can overcome it and just be happy with where we are in these jealous moments? I feel like shutting out the world and just living in a bubble with my family because it's safe here and we're exceptional here. Out there? Yikes.

We force our kids to walk, or get potty trained or read early because there is obviously a race out there and gosh darn it my kid will make the world proud. Once I found myself telling a story about something Ezra had said and the audience didn't seem to appreciate how adorable it was like I did, sooo, I added to it. And then he said, "badeep badeep that's all folks". Then the laughs. It kind of ruined it for me, however. I vowed to make Ezra's stories true to Ezra because I love Ezra's stories raw. You can rest assured my recorded Ezra stories are unedited. They are special and beautiful to me and that's enough. That's also a reason I hid my "mommy blog". My moments don't mean something to everyone or even anyone, but to me, they bring tears, they are real and miraculous and moments of light, wonder and amazement. That's where I find the strength to overcome coveting; I hear a simple prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the Holy Ghost who helps us to be happy or I see a hug and hear a small voice whisper "saw-ee" or I catch my husband glance over and smile my way during church and I am able to breath and think, "Okay. We're not skinny, rich, always happy or incredibly good at anything, but we're doing our best and we still have reasons to smile."

I think as women and probably especially those of us who stay at home often wish there was something we could contribute to the world. Like a talent or a special story or an above average, front of the line family.

Sometimes we just are the way we are and that's all there is to it. And in my bubble, that's okay. It's just tough to feel the pressure of what everyone else seems to think your family should or shouldn't be doing and where when and how. I feel proud of my little family in the slowly progressing life we live. And even through our boring day to day and our trying minutes, we are The Tressler Family and there is Someone very important up there who thinks we're doing just fine. I'll take it.

Innocence

Today Ezra was begging me to take him back to Great Wolf Lodge. He said, "If God wants us to, we can go to Great Wolf Lodge again." Then he proceeded asking me if God wanted us to go.

Then tonight before bath he asked me if he had spots. I thought about our family night lesson the other night about keeping the Sabbath day holy so we can remain "unspotted from the world". I then understood what he meant and couldn't help but laugh.

I love the simple understanding he has for things that are sometimes over his head. This is what "they" mean with they talk about being innocent like a child. I love his innocence.