Most days are overwhelming and exhausting mixed with laughter, hugs and tears. Ezra is in first grade and has finally started to enjoy school. So much so that he actually told me a couple weeks ago that he DOES NOT want to be homeschooled next year! I was shocked to hear this and a little saddened, but I am grateful that he is happier in public school. Between school, homework, sports, dinner, chores, church stuff and bedtime, he doesn't get a lot of down time and we all really miss him.
James' schedule is a bit trying for our young family. It feels as though a lot (or most) of the weight falls on my shoulders. He is doing what he can to provide for our family and we are so grateful. It makes a big difference to see him so happy to go to work, but sometimes he is so happy he won't come home! He says they are busy and he can't leave. I say he's busy playing and doesn't want to leave. Either way, we miss him. He is currently on the Midnight shift so he sleeps ALL day and works all night. It's such a tease because he's right here in my house and yet I can't spend time with him. It drives me crazy. Maybe I should admit here that I am an incredibly difficult and needy person to live with. ha. I do a lot of things alone and it's difficult and often very lonely (even though I have 4 kids to keep me company, it's different).
There are still HUGE bugs and constant bugs in Texas. They make me want to run away. I HATE bugs! I find so many in my house all day long that it grosses me out just to walk on the ground or even sit on the carpet. I guess I just needed to complain for a moment. lol
Makai is learning so much and has started giving in more and more to his gentle, sweet side. I love it. Far less tantrums from him which helps me so much. Although he still gets great pleasure out of taunting his little brother and it drives me insane. I have so many images of him running around the house holding a toy over his head while Deklan is running behind him screaming and reaching for it. Hopefully one day they'll learn to play better together. He loves playing math games on the computer and he is even learning to clean up his toys! This is huge because he never used to do this and it was a constant battle.
Deklan is still a bundle of trouble, but he has enough cute moments to help me get through the screams and meltdowns. He is communicating better and I would venture to say that more people can understand him now. He still refuses to go to nursery so I have given up trying. Sunday is a battle enough and our attempts to get him to stay in nursery made me never want to go, so he comes with me and Brynlee and it works out ok for the most part.
Brynlee is such a doll. She's 9 months now. I couldn't have dreamed of a more easy going baby. She doesn't sleep through the night, but she is really easy when she does wake up, so it's okay. She loves her little jumper toy and she is currently fascinated by touching faces. Deklan still adores his "Brynee" and always want to hold her, give her toys or kisses and even sit on her. I think he thinks it's showing love because he really is gentle with her. She says "Mama" all day long. She is not interested in moving around much, so we are not at the crawling stage which is ok with me.
My days are so packed with trying to keep up with these kiddos. Even on a good day life is crazy. I can't keep up with laundry and dishes and meals and sicknesses and fights, etc. Why does it seem like my kids are always hungry? I make breakfast and before I even have a chance to clean that up they're rummaging through the pantry because they're hungry. I have to kick them out of the pantry and fridge all day long. Then while I fold laundry they like to jump over the piles which often results in falling on them or knocking them over so that I get to fold the mounds of laundry all over again. Then there is the constant, "I don't know what to do.." I had no idea I needed to be a 24/7 event planner for these kids. I used to play by myself all the time and rarely remember playing with my mom, but these kids expect to be entertained all day long. I'm lucky if I get a shower without someone banging on the door or whipping back the shower curtain because they "need" me. I love to be needed and I love to be their mommy, but, my goodness, I'm exhausted. I wouldn't even be writing this blog post right now if not for the TV! Don't judge me.
Makai likes to pray for mommy to always be beautiful and I told him that is very sweet, but even more than mommy would like to be beautiful, I would like to have the patience I need to be mommy. I'm in survival mode most days and I guess that's going to have to be ok for now.
We are planning a big trip to Utah this summer and we can't wait! It'll be so nice to see our family and friends and America! It is getting me through these crazy days. I'm trying to resist the urge to start packing 3 months early!
