The Nutcracker

On December 13th and 14th, 2019, Brynlee was in her first ever dance performance. She was a gingerbread cookie in The Nutcracker! They were all just the cutest little dancers and it was a fun, new experience. She's been working hard on her splits everywhere we go. She even tripped a lady who was getting off the elevator because she didn't realize Brynlee was on the ground showing the lady her splits! She's got the fancy dancer thing down and absolutely LOVED getting her hair and makeup done for her performance. Thank you to Grandma Lene and PopPop for making the trip down to come see her :)

 Brynlee is the far right one mid air..

Koda

Koda is the newest member of our family. He was born August 15th, 2019 (the day after Makai's 9th birthday)! He is our little surprise ending. My pregnancy was a super easy one, as was the delivery. It made it hard to say he was our last because I even told the nurse minutes after he was born that I could do that again. She pulled her glasses to the end of her nose and looked at me and said, "In over 20 years of being a labor and delivery nurse, that is the first time I have ever heard that." Lol. It was just peaceful and beautiful to watch him enter this world. Buuuut, my luck ran out about a week after he was born. He started screaming all the time. For like the first 2-3 months he just cried and cried.  Brielle learned to say his name early on, but never said his name without saying, "Ugh, Doda!" That's kinda how we all felt. But then he started smiling and becoming a little happier and life suddenly got better.

There is something magical that happens when a baby smiles and giggles. It brings tears to my eyes seriously every single time. His eyes sparkle and his whole body just exudes joy. I love it.

Koda was born with congenital hypothyroidism like Brielle, but thankfully he grew out of his right away and didn't require medicine. It has required many needles getting blood drawn which breaks my heart, but he's handled it all like a champ.

He has become our second thumb sucker! Brynlee was our first and it was a nightmare to break her of it. The only thing that worked was promising her she could get her ears pierced if she stopped. James says that's not an option for Koda, so we're gonna have to think of something else. Right now, I'm just enjoying the self-soothing and the cuteness of his thumb-sucking.

He is a momma's boy, as every little boy should be. I do love holding him especially because he is usually very content in my arms.

He startles easily, which is kind of a challenge in a house with 6 kids, a dog, and the neighborhood running in and out. He will start to shake and cry with loud noises or shouting. It's the saddest, sweetest little thing. I'm sure he'll get used to the chaos in time, but I appreciate his tender reminders that we need to tone it down a little.

He still wakes up quite a bit at night, but I just moved him into the room with Deklan and he seems happier in there. It's warmer in that room too, so that probably makes a big difference.

I love that the only thing I need to do is smile at this little baby and he will be happy. I just love babies and I'm so thankful to have him!

Brielle

Just look at that face and you'll see why this little girl is our greatest joy. Brielle is 22 months and she is our bundle of life. She is the perfect blend of trouble and sweetness. She loves to explore and get into everything. I don't know what it is about this age, but I just love seeing their personalities come through as they become less of a baby and gain more independence. She is learning and growing in strides and it makes each day feel new.

Brielle was born with congenital hypothyroidism and has been on medication since she was 2 weeks old. She has to get lab work done regularly which is becoming more of a challenge the older she gets. She takes her medicine really well. Her doc said at her last appointment that since we've never had to increase her dose, we can try weaning her off in a year or so and he thinks she'll most likely do fine without medication. I hope so!

Brielle says a ton of words. Her favorites are Doda (Koda, her baby brother), Momma, Dad, Zazu, Ezra, no, yeah, book, appsauce (applesauce), seeping (sleeping), sow (show), and baby. She'll repeat just about anything you ask her to if she's in the right mood. Otherwise she'll hit you with a hard "No!" and move on.

She's done her business on the potty a couple of times, but has been refusing to even give it a try lately, so we're not quite ready yet. As you'll see in a future post, she loves to pick out her clothes, but can't limit her choices to only one outfit per day, so sometimes she wears many. If Grandma is here, Brielle picks jammies all day long.

Every nap and bedtime Brielle has her routine of requests. She needs her binky and soft unicorn, fresh ice water, her fan on and pink nightlight turned on. Then we proceed with a story, then sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Popcorn Popping (complete with hand motions, or you'll have to sing it again). Then she'll fold her arms and wait for you to say a prayer. After prayer I give kisses, brush the hair from her forehead, tuck her in and whisper goodnight. She always yells for me at the door where we then wave at each other and I say goodnight and tell her I love her and then I can close her door. If these steps are missed, she'll call me back in. She's amazing.

She loves baby dolls and is constantly taking care of hers. That includes putting the baby to bed, holding her, feeding her a bottle and then, of course, taking her clothes off. She also likes to give the baby kisses and make me give the baby kisses all day long too.

I can't say enough about this little girl. Her smile, her laugh, her shoulder shrugs and uh-ohs, it all melts my heart and brings me joy. She is seriously a bundle of life and all that is good in the world. I am so thankful to have her in my life.

Brynlee

Brynlee is 5 and is in Kindergarten. She is pretty young for her grade, as are Ezra and Makai. I kinda wish I held her back for academic reasons, but she is so social and everyone kept telling me she was ready, so she started Kindergarten. She loves it. She has a fantastic teacher (the same teacher Deklan had last year, actually!) and she is really learning and growing a lot. She's still not quite where I want her to be, but elementary years are so hard to measure because kids excel at such different rates in different areas. We're proud of her and her growth. 

Bryn is also in ballet this year. She had her first performance right before Christmas which was in the Nutcracker! A separate post to come on that later. She was adorable and loved all the glam. Her next performance will be in May and I'm looking forward to seeing her progress.

Last summer right after Bryn turned 5, she decided she wanted to ride a bike without training wheels. She mastered it in no time and is now a riding pro. She still hasn't mastered the art of braking, but she just rides until she stops. lol. She can be seen riding all over the neighborhood. She visits one friend after the other. I think she thinks she's much older than she is because she already seems to think she's in charge. 

She is still all girl. She loves glitz and glam and tries to sneak in high heels and make up on any of our trips. She just started painting her own nails and she actually does a fantastic job with it. I used to love painting Brynlee's nails, but she got so picky and started ordering me around about how to do it and which colors go on which nails, and it kinda lost the fun for me, so I'm all about her painting her own nails now. She is the same with her hairstyles. I used to be able to do fun and intricate hairstyles, but now she has an opinion and it's usually something more simple because she doesn't like to sit very long for me anymore. 

Brynlee sleeps on my floor almost every single night. Even when I start her in her own bed, I end up stepping on her on my floor at some point in the middle of the night. She says she gets scared and she just likes to be close to me. Hard to fight that.

Brynlee can often be found twirling, riding her bike, or talking to herself in front of the mirror. She is a lot of fun and surprises me daily with her bravery and her determination. This girl is a leader and I hope I can channel all that energy and leadership in the right direction! She's still my little bestie and I am so thankful to have her in my world. 

Deklan

Deklan just turned 7 and is in 1st grade. His teachers always love him and say what a joy he is in their classes. He's quite a bundle of everything. He's my most empathetic kid and also my biggest stinker. He'll break your heart and then make you feel like a million bucks all in the same day. He is making leaps and bounds in reading and he is very good at math. Deklan got glasses last year and is the cutest little dude in his glasses. He loves soccer, riding his bike and playing video games. 

Deklan loves to make people laugh. He can be so silly sometimes just to get a rise out of his friends. He has a really kind heart and a love for our Savior. He gets excited about little things and really thrives off of physical touch. He loves to snuggle or have my rub his back.

He is very strong willed and determined. If he sets his mind to something, he will see to it that it happens. This is a great thing, but can also be a great challenge if my mind is not set to the same thing as him. We are trying hard to channel this into a really good thing for him. 

One day he came up to James and said, "Dad, if I'm really good for a whole week, can I get a Bey Blade?" He had been asking me for one for weeks and I kept telling him no. This idea was brilliant. James agreed, but also thought there was no way he could behave perfectly for a whole week. Well, he did! He proved to himself and all of us that he can control his behavior. It was amazing and showed me just how incredible his strong will can be. 

Deklan recently had a friend move to a new school and he asked me to get her address so he could write her a letter. His letter was wishing her well in her new school and hoping she was happy. Then he included his only $2 for her. I love his heart.

He also loves babies. I think out of all my kids, Deklan likes babies the most. When Ezra and Makai moved out of their shared room to the guest room downstairs, Deklan had a moment of sadness thinking he would be left alone, but I quickly told him that they moved downstairs to make room for Koda to move into his room. He got so excited and decided Koda needed to be moved into his room that day. I told him this means he has a great responsibility to be a good example and a kind brother to Koda and he loved that. 

He is still one of my hardest kids because he struggles with hyperactivity and aggression still, but I see more and more of his tenderness and pure heart the older he gets and I am very proud of him. He has so much goodness in him. One day Deklan had been talking to James about the signs of the second coming of our Savior and he started to feel scared. On his own, he decided to say a prayer. He told us that he received an answer telling him not to worry and that he would be ok. What an incredible example of faith he is to me. 

We sure love this little tornado and we're proud of the wonderful kid he is.

Makai

Makai is 9 (and a half) and is in the 4th grade. He is Mr. Storyteller. He is a lot like his dad in this way. He tells stories that go on and on forever. He even has never-ending dreams that he can't wait to tell you all about in the rush of the morning routine. His stories are always filled with excitement and usually some sort of fear factor. For some reason, he loves scary stories, but he is also the biggest scaredy-cat. He can't sleep in a room alone, go downstairs in the dark alone, or take the trash out when it's dark out. I tell him all the time that he shouldn't be so into scary things if he gets scared so easily, but he can't help it. 

One night recently he started screaming for me. I came in to see what was going on and he was sitting on his bed shaking. His voice was slow and trembling as he said, "It was me. The statue was me!" Then I told him it was a bad dream and he went right back to bed. He didn't remember any of it the next day.

Makai is stuck right between major stinker and instigator and biggest sweetheart in the family. He loves to get a rise out of his siblings and he is always picking on them. Though, on a good day, he is gentle and kind and goes all day long asking me what else he can do for me. Makai feels love the most through quality time. If he feels seen and important then he is an incredible joy to be around. I love that about him. 

This year Makai has two teachers. They are both amazing and we're thankful to have them. They both told me they agree that Makai has some significant attention issues going on in class. Since Makai isn't an overly hyper kid, I didn't really see it, but I think they're right. He is forgetful and less responsible, but I feel guilty discipling him for this because I really think he can't help it. I don't want him on medication though, so we're trying to figure out options. One thing is for sure though; if he's interested in it, he'll give you his undivided attention. I think that's amazing.

He is super creative and artistic. He loves to draw and sketch and imagine. There are always papers floating around our house or car with his pictures and he can often be found with a pencil and a stack of paper in tow. His favorite topics all involve fantasy; super heroes, dragons, etc. 

Makai is our little collector. His favorite thing to collect is rocks, but he also loves sticks (think walking sticks, weapon sticks, magic wand sticks). He also collects different items that most of us would think are pieces of junk like broken stakes, bottle caps, bent paper clips, etc. He's so funny about his items, but I think it just fuels his creativity and imagination. Kind of like a cute little boy version of The Little Mermaid. 

Makai has the cutest little laugh and absolutely loves to wrestle with his dad and siblings. He is also the first to cry and needs to make sure everyone knows he's upset when he does. 

We love Makai so much and we're excited to see him discover his potential as he figures out more about the world around him. He's gonna do some amazing things!

Ezra

Ezra is 11 (and a half) now and he is a great blessing to our family. He is responsible and independent and still very helpful. He is in 6th grade, which is middle school, and has been placed in a couple of advanced classes. I honestly couldn't even tell you what his greatest subject is because he's just good at all of them. It must've been all those Dairy Queen Blizzards James would get me when I was pregnant with him ;) But, unfortunately, we have entered the years of mom feeling dumb because I can no longer help him with his math homework. Thankfully, Grandpa Johnston has come in handy once or twice and James seems to remember more of 7th grade math (his class does 6th and 7th grade math at the same time), so James is able to help on the rare occasion that he needs help.

Ezra is the oldest, so he has more responsibilities, but he handles them well. He has started babysitting for us for shorter periods of time, which is soooo helpful! He still refuses to change diapers or wipe noses though, so we don't normally leave him with the babies. He loves his siblings, but he has a special connection with little Brielle, which just melts my heart. He has been wanting his own room since we moved to Arizona and he lost his own room, but with 6 kids and 4 rooms it just wasn't going to happen. However, for Christmas we moved Ezra and Makai to the downstairs guest bedroom so we could make room for Koda in Deklan's room (Ezra, Makai and Deklan were all in one room this past year!). He loves to have a little more space and freedom. Thankfully he is normally very trustworthy with that freedom.

He also just joined the group of cool kids with a cell phone. We caved earlier than we planned because there were too many times this past year that James and I found ourselves wishing he had a phone (especially now that he's babysitting for us), so Santa got him one this past Christmas and we agreed with Santa that it was time.

Last year Ez was able to be his school's mascot for their pep rally and assemblies. It was a really fun experience for him. This year he has been asked to come back to a couple times this year to be the mascot again. It's the perfect thing for him because he can be totally goofy and he doesn't get embarrassed because no one knows it's him.

He still plays piano. I love hearing him play. His favorite thing to practice is his speed, but I just love all the songs, even the slow ones. He tried out for the Jazz Band in school this past year, but the two spots were given to two 8th graders. He's practicing and hopeful that he might make it next year! Since he didn't get into Jazz Band, he decided to join regular band and is now doing percussion. His teacher has him mostly on the xylophone since he can read music and it's similar to the piano. He normally gets very nervous performing, but at his last band concert, he was confident and poised. Many of his fellow percussionists were looking to him to make sure they were doing things right and he would give a nod, or redirect them. It was awesome to see.

Ezra's favorite sport is still soccer, though James and I did talk him into playing flag football the 1st quarter. He absolutely hated it, so I don't think there are any more flag football games in our future. We're still trying to convince him to get back into baseball, but it's the same quarter as track, so he has decided to do track. I miss watching him play baseball, but he doesn't love the sport, so I'm trying to accept that he may never play again. He plans on trying out for soccer this quarter. Fingers crossed that he makes the team!

This new year means that Ezra is now in Young Men's (the youth program at our church for ages 11-18). With that change, he gets to receive the Aaronic Priesthood which allows him to pass the sacrament in our church and prepares him for the Melchizedek Priesthood which will allow him to give blessings and bless the sacrament. He is so excited for this next step in his life and he continues to stay true to his baptismal covenants and prepare for a mission for our church when he turns 18.

Last summer we took the kids to Rexburg, Idaho and toured a little of the BYU-Idaho campus where James and I both went. Ezra told us at first that he wasn't interested in going to BYU-Idaho, but after touring the campus and seeing how beautiful it is, he has drastically changed his mind and is looking forward to that as an option for him for college.

Ezra has done really well since we moved to Arizona. He has a wonderful group of friends complete with secret handshakes, a secret language and a matching shirt schedule for each day of the week. His friends are great boys and we're excited to see them grow up together.

We sure love this sensitive, loving and crazy leader in our family. Life wouldn't be the same without him. He really is a mother's blessing and I adore him.

Our Family Today

We are a family of 8! Well, 9 if you count our dog! James and I have 4 boys and 2 girls and life is crazy! Ezra is 11, Makai is 9, Deklan is 7, Brynlee is 5, Brielle is 22mo and Koda is 4mo. Our dog is Zazu. He's a King Charles Cavalier and Poodle mix and we love him! He was born October 10th, 2017 and he joined our family on December 17th, 2017 as the kids early Christmas present.

We are currently living in Sahuarita, AZ. We moved here last October with an internal job transfer. So far we love it. It's still super hot here, but the evenings are great and the weather for most of the year is beautiful. We live in a great neighborhood. I never thought my kids would have the freedom to go out and play, or that we'd ever live somewhere where kids would come knocking on the door asking if my kids could play, but we have that here. Sometimes too much of that here. lol. It's so fun!

We also live close to my mom's best friend for the past 35 years, which feels like we're closer to family. And we're only a long days drive from many more family members in Utah, Idaho and California. In fact, last year, I braved the drive by myself with 5 kids to go to my niece's farewell when she was leaving on her mission to El Salvador. It was actually really good. My kids were so excited to see cousins that they handled the drive well. Then again last summer, we went back to visit cousins and we had a blast! And James got to come that time! I'm sure there are many more trips north in our future. 

I will do an introduction to each of the kids and what they're into in separate posts, but here's a quick summary:

Ezra is our responsible oldest. He has started babysitting for us and that's helping the chaos of life so much! He just got a phone from Santa this past Christmas and he suddenly seems so much older. He will be getting Priesthood in a couple of days and can start passing the Sacrament at church and attending the temple to do baptisms for the dead. It's very exciting. Ezra is also starting into this obnoxious pre-pubescent stage of life, so that's fun..

Makai is our care-free soul. He is unorganized and forgetful, but he loves what he loves and gets excited about little things, so that's fun to discover. His favorite thing is exploring and creating. He loves stories, art, and anything that requires an imagination. 

Deklan is still a little stinker, but is getting better. He has fewer outbursts. He is my most empathetic child. He loves crafting and anything physical. He can't wait to start Tae Kwon Do or Ju Jitsu. He is making leaps and bounds in school with reading, though he says he doesn't need to read anymore because he already knows how. lol. 

Brynlee is my little sassy girl. I seriously am worried for her teenage years. She is loving and sometimes sweet, but mostly she's fiesty and sassy. She does what she wants and is unapologetic. She's content riding her bike all day or sitting on the couch snuggling all day. She is very social and roams the neighborhood finding friends to play with. She's the one walking down the sidewalk in her high heels, fake nails on, lipstick everywhere, her hair in a mess and carrying some sort of purse. 

Brielle is my little doll. She's trouble and into everything. She's the first of all our kids that we needed cabinet locks for. She moves stools around to get what she wants, climbs everything and dumps stuff out all the time. She's talking more and more. She's at my favorite age where they're still innocent and learning so much at such an obvious rapid rate and I just love seeing it all.

Koda is our squishy baby. His smiles make my bad days get so much better. He doesn't sleep much, but I love him anyways. He's been our most colicky baby, but I think that's getting better and he's mostly happy now unless he's hungry or tired. He hates to be snuggled and mostly prefers to face outwards to see the world. He notices when I leave a room. He's a total momma's boy, as every little boy should be!

And that's us for now. A quick start to my catch up, but it'll do ;)

New Years Resolution

For the past couple of years, getting back into this blog has been my new years resolution. And obviously, that hasn't gone well. My memory isn't great and it makes me sad to think of all the things that I didn't record. So, 2020 is the year that I make it happen and get back into it! Writing is a good outlet for me and it is so fun to be able to look back on these journal entries and remember our family at different times and stages of our lives. But, since it's been quite awhile since I've been on here, it's going to take some time to catch up. I haven't started because I always got hung up on where to begin again, but I'm not going to let that stop me this year, so my catch up may be a little scattered. I'm going to start by introducing our family again (including the 3 new members since I last posted) and we'll go from there!

Motherhood Lately

Life has obviously gotten in the way of me keeping up this blog and that makes me so sad. I am going to try to be better at keeping better records/memories for the sake of my family. So instead of back-tracking, I'll just start where we're at. Crazy. That's where we are :) I guess we asked for that when we chose to have four babies, right?

Most days are overwhelming and exhausting mixed with laughter, hugs and tears. Ezra is in first grade and has finally started to enjoy school. So much so that he actually told me a couple weeks ago that he DOES NOT want to be homeschooled next year! I was shocked to hear this and a little saddened, but I am grateful that he is happier in public school. Between school, homework, sports, dinner, chores, church stuff and bedtime, he doesn't get a lot of down time and we all really miss him. 

James' schedule is a bit trying for our young family. It feels as though a lot (or most) of the weight falls on my shoulders. He is doing what he can to provide for our family and we are so grateful. It makes a big difference to see him so happy to go to work, but sometimes he is so happy he won't come home! He says they are busy and he can't leave. I say he's busy playing and doesn't want to leave. Either way, we miss him. He is currently on the Midnight shift so he sleeps ALL day and works all night. It's such a tease because he's right here in my house and yet I can't spend time with him. It drives me crazy. Maybe I should admit here that I am an incredibly difficult and needy person to live with. ha. I do a lot of things alone and it's difficult and often very lonely (even though I have 4 kids to keep me company, it's different). 

There are still HUGE bugs and constant bugs in Texas. They make me want to run away. I HATE bugs! I find so many in my house all day long that it grosses me out just to walk on the ground or even sit on the carpet. I guess I just needed to complain for a moment. lol

Makai is learning so much and has started giving in more and more to his gentle, sweet side. I love it. Far less tantrums from him which helps me so much. Although he still gets great pleasure out of taunting his little brother and it drives me insane. I have so many images of him running around the house holding a toy over his head while Deklan is running behind him screaming and reaching for it. Hopefully one day they'll learn to play better together. He loves playing math games on the computer and he is even learning to clean up his toys! This is huge because he never used to do this and it was a constant battle.

Deklan is still a bundle of trouble, but he has enough cute moments to help me get through the screams and meltdowns. He is communicating better and I would venture to say that more people can understand him now. He still refuses to go to nursery so I have given up trying. Sunday is a battle enough and our attempts to get him to stay in nursery made me never want to go, so he comes with me and Brynlee and it works out ok for the most part. 

Brynlee is such a doll. She's 9 months now. I couldn't have dreamed of a more easy going baby. She doesn't sleep through the night, but she is really easy when she does wake up, so it's okay. She loves her little jumper toy and she is currently fascinated by touching faces. Deklan still adores his "Brynee" and always want to hold her, give her toys or kisses and even sit on her. I think he thinks it's showing love because he really is gentle with her. She says "Mama" all day long. She is not interested in moving around much, so we are not at the crawling stage which is ok with me. 

My days are so packed with trying to keep up with these kiddos. Even on a good day life is crazy. I can't keep up with laundry and dishes and meals and sicknesses and fights, etc. Why does it seem like my kids are always hungry? I make breakfast and before I even have a chance to clean that up they're rummaging through the pantry because they're hungry. I have to kick them out of the pantry and fridge all day long. Then while I fold laundry they like to jump over the piles which often results in falling on them or knocking them over so that I get to fold the mounds of laundry all over again. Then there is the constant, "I don't know what to do.." I had no idea I needed to be a 24/7 event planner for these kids. I used to play by myself all the time and rarely remember playing with my mom, but these kids expect to be entertained all day long. I'm lucky if I get a shower without someone banging on the door or whipping back the shower curtain because they "need" me. I love to be needed and I love to be their mommy, but, my goodness, I'm exhausted. I wouldn't even be writing this blog post right now if not for the TV! Don't judge me.

Makai likes to pray for mommy to always be beautiful and I told him that is very sweet, but even more than mommy would like to be beautiful, I would like to have the patience I need to be mommy. I'm in survival mode most days and I guess that's going to have to be ok for now. 

We are planning a big trip to Utah this summer and we can't wait! It'll be so nice to see our family and friends and America! It is getting me through these crazy days. I'm trying to resist the urge to start packing 3 months early!