Sleep Deprived

My little Mr. Mak is such a joy in my life. However, my little Mr. Mak doesn't sleep much. He never has. He started out waking up every 2.5-3 hours then every 1.5-2 hours then every 1-2 hours then he had three wonderful days in a row where he slept for 5 and then woke up every hour after that. That didn't last. It soon became every 40 minutes to an hour and now we're at every 30-40 minutes! I am going insane! If he wasn't so darn sweet and happy during the day, I might be admitting myself to a mental hospital. He's such a good baby other than the lack of sleep. I don't know what to do. The more I pray for a good night sleep, the worse it gets.

I have tried formula before bed several several times (he barely drinks any of it). I've given him rice cereal, rice cereal and formula, rice cereal+formula+and breast milk. I just started him on solids a little early out of desperation hoping that it would solve all of our sleep problems, but it hasn't :(

I have put him in the carseat, bassinet, pack-n-play and our comfy bed and it hasn't made a difference. Fan or no fan, swaddled or not, lots of blankets or one, side or back, binky or no binky, etc. The only things I feel like I haven't tried is putting him on his belly or letting him cry it out. I just don't feel like I can let him cry every 30 minutes at night. That's worse than getting up to feed him. Yes, I feed him EVERY 30-40 minutes at night! Many doctors and probably mothers would think I was stupid, but I'm desperate and it's the only thing that'll get him back to sleep. And every time I nurse him he eats like it has been days since I fed him. He is little, but I know he doesn't need to eat that often. That's more than a newborn eats! I need help.

I usually don't ask for advice because I'm stubborn and I like to figure things out on my own, but I need sleep and my ideas aren't working. What can I do? I'm trying to tough it out and I am actually handling it a lot better than I was when he was first born, so at least my hormones seem to be working in my favor for now, but I would still like to sleep for more than 30 minutes or an hour at a time. Any miracle tricks you know of?

If not, we will survive. I will just keep praying, try to comfort him some other way than nursing at night and smile as often as I can with Mr. Mak and Tressler Boy #1.

I Live For Little Moments

Like These:



• James got me a camera for my birthday. He couldn't wait to give it to me, so he sent me on a treasure hunt through our house two days before my birthday. I found it the very first place I looked :) He was shocked because he didn't think I'd ever look there. I told him that's the reason I looked there first. The best part of this gift was that I didn't even ask for a camera. He was so thoughtful and I love it.

• Ezra asked James to give him a Father's Blessing. My two year old asked. I am so grateful to have a worthy husband who can give all of us Priesthood Blessings.

• Sickness has been lingering in my home. It started with Ezra. He had a double ear infection and a sinus infection with all the fun symptoms that go with it: aches, fever, vomiting, headache, coughing, running nose, etc. Well, one day I caught him just sitting on the couch looking up at a picture of the Savior. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I'm looking at Jesus." I asked him if he missed him and he said, "yes". He then proceeded to tell me that Jesus' ears and head hurt too. Maybe it didn't mean anything to him, but it sure reminded me the comfort we can feel knowing that He knows our pain. I talked to Ezra about the atonement and how Jesus got hurt so we didn't have to and so we could live with He and Heavenly Father again. He of course told me he knew that already.

• When I took Ezra to the doctor we opened the door and he walked right up to the desk and said, "I got hurt, make it feel better." He told every person we saw at the doctor the same thing.

• Every time I would try to give Ezra his medicine he would quickly run to the bed or the couch or some chair, close his eyes and say, "I sleeping" just to avoid it. Good thing I'm a little smarter than a fifth grader and can identify a true sleeper vs. a faker.

• For Christmas James got me a work-out-stretchy-jumpy-ropey-muscle-builder-thingy. One day he was trying to be funny and show me all the "cool" things I could do with it. One of them was hold the handles with my hands, step on the rubber ropey part and extend my leg in and out. Well, the rubber rope snapped right in between his legs. He fell to the floor in pain and I couldn't stop laughing. I'm sorry. I know it's painful, but sometimes it is so funny! Don't worry, James laughed too and he is fine.

• Ezra came up to me while I was on the computer and asked me if he could play a game. I told him he needed to wait until I was done and his reply was, "but I haven't played the game in 3 days!!" Not true, he had just barely been playing the game, but it must've felt like 3 days to him. Now anytime he asks for something this is the excuse he uses.

• I put Makai sitting up next to me on the couch the other day and looked away and when I turned back I found him face down like a beached whale. It was only for literally a second or two, so don't worry. I just think it is so funny sometimes when babies fall over and face plant. Maybe that's awful of me to say, but as long as their okay, I can't help but laugh.

• Anytime Makai is crying, all I have to do is walk into the room or reach out to hold him and all is well. I love having mommy magic.

• In the book Glimpses about the life of Sister Hinckley there is a story where one of her daughters calls her and starts crying about her kids saying, "I just can't take this." Sister Hinckley just laughs and says, "well, it's too late now." Lesson? Any mother will tell you that being a mother is the hardest thing they have ever done, but they will likely also tell you it is the most rewarding thing they have ever done. It's so nice to know that when I am going crazy, I am not alone and it will get better.

My little moments probably don't mean much to anyone else, but I am so grateful for all the moments in life that remind us, teach us, comfort us and allow us to see the bigger picture and the Master's hand in our lives.

Christmas

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and doesn't feel too down about the day already having come and gone. My birthday is New Years Eve, so it always seems a little easier for me to keep Christmas going because there is a whole other day of celebration just a week away!

Our Christmas this year was wonderful. It was just the four of us. I was really disappointed about it at first, but as the days led to Christmas Day I got more and more excited. I am so glad to have a wonderful husband who saw the excitement of it just being us and who gets just as excited about Christmas Eve as I do. We still haven't sparked any great Christmas Traditions like we want to, but there's always next year. It's mostly because James had to work until after 7 Christmas Eve, so when he got home he went straight to wrapping my presents and then we spent hours getting Ezra into bed.

Ezra has been really into Christmas this year, which has made it that much more fun. He enjoyed learning about Baby Jesus, though I don't think he quite understands that Christmas is His birthday and not a day of presents. I'm working on it :) He has visited Santa a handful of times, though he is still afraid to get close to him. The last visit we made he cried until I let him see him, ran to him, held his arms out to sit on his lap and then very quickly backed away in horror at what he was about to do. He stood about 5 feet from Santa and said, "I want pesents, cookies, candies and cars!" Then he walked a little closer, held his hands out and waited for Santa to give him his coloring book. Every time he would hear a noise outside our window he would gasp and say, "Santa! He's here! He's bing me pesents!"

Christmas Eve we set out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. He was so excited about that. When he woke up he couldn't believe that Santa drank all the milk, ate most of the cookies and his reindeer ate the carrots. After Ezra went to bed James and I (and Santa of course) set out the presents and then we spent about an hour building his train track throughout the room. (He got a bunch of hand-me-down pieces from his cousin Tyler to fit the ones he got for his birthday, so it was huge!)

                                      
                               

James and I didn't sleep hardly at all that night. I never sleep well Christmas Eve. This year it was in part because we have a sick baby. (He was up way more than usual (his usual is every 1-2 hours). He has a really nasty cough for a 4 month old and he is so congested.) I set our alarm early so we would be up before Ezra to see his face when he saw everything. Well, we didn't need the alarm because we were just too excited.

When Ezra opened the door he just stopped, looked at the presents with wide eyes and then looked at the train tracks. The first thing out of his mouth was, "we're missing pieces." It was funny because the train track was huge; what was he expecting? We took it really slow this Christmas which was great.

We got a Kinect from my mother-in-law this year. James let Ezra open it and right when he saw it he said, "that for you daddy" and moved to the next present. Though now that he has seen how it works and has played his Kinectimals game, he loves it! We spent Christmas afternoon rearranging our living room to make the Kinect work. It was fun!

(Poor little Makai wasn't/still isn't feeling well :( )

When we were cleaning up the gifts we put some back into Ezra's stocking just to get them out of the way. When he noticed his stocking wasn't empty he ran to it and said, "Oh, der's more!" Just for a family history side note: presents inside the stockings are now called "stuffing stockers" because James just couldn't get it right all month long!

Later that evening we went up to the Stake Center next to the Temple where we enjoyed a wonderful Christmas dinner with our neighbors and friends. The only thing I actually made was sweet potatoes and guess what... I burned it. haha! It's not unusual for me to burn things. It was only the marshmallows and James claimed they were perfect, but I like them just barely brown, not slightly crispy. Oh well. Cristina provided most everything else and it was great! Thanks Cristina! We played games and ate lots of yummy dessert. Then we came home, played more games and went to bed.

It really was a great Christmas. We talked a lot about Baby Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas, but next year I want to do a Nativity Pageant with the boys and really focus more on Christ than Santa. We got a little more commercial this year than I would've liked. I am so grateful for our Savior's birth and this special time of year. Thank you to all our family and friends for the Christmas cards, gifts and warm wishes. We love you all!

Thanksgiving Vacation

We're back! We've been back for almost a week now, but I still don't feel readjusted to "normal" life yet. We had a great time out east and I wish it didn't have to end. It's always nice coming home, especially when James was back home for 11 days before we were, but it's so nice being with family and back where the world seems a little more alive.

We ventured to Maryland for Thanksgiving with James' family. Half of the family stayed in two RV's in the driveway while the other half stayed in the house. The showers and bathrooms were always occupied, mealtimes were a little crazy and our caravan systems were always delayed (mostly, okay, totally because of me. I choose to blame the babe, but I was almost always the last to shower, so it's more my fault than Makai's. Sorry!).

We spent time in DC where I saw the White House for the first time. I have to say, it looks bigger and more magical in pictures. We also got pedicures, manicures, went shopping with the girlies and put on a cute talent show. The boys were able to go to the Navy football game. We also went to the Air and Space Museum, Port Discovery x2, DC Temple visitors center, The museum of Natural History and American History and I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Needless to say, everyday we had an adventure and it was great. We also had time to talk, make cookies, and watch the only family video of James and his sisters when they were younger. Oh and I can't forget the wonderful Thanksgiving meal we had thanks to my mother-in-law! It was sooo yummy! Ezra loved playing with his cousins. We came upstairs one morning and he heard someone and gasped, "cousins!!!" It was so cute. He still prays for ALL of them. All we have to say is "we're thankful for.." and he just fills in all their names.

Then Thanksgiving Day we said goodbye to everyone, James got on one plane back home and the boys and I got on another to go see my family. Within half an hour of James being home he was called into work where he walked the floors all Black Friday morning.

The boys were great for me on the plane. It was a little crazier on the way home due to a much longer flight plus a layover and double the amount of luggage I came out with, but the boys were still way more behaved than I expected, so no tears!

In New Hampshire we had fun shopping, shopping, and shopping. We had Thanksgiving dinner with my aunt and uncle and cousins, met Santa and rode on his train, got a house visit from Santa (aka Grandpa), and went horseback riding and Ezra and I fell off the horse. I'm still sore, Ezra landed on me so he's fine. He still talks about how he got to feed the horse, walk it, brush it and say, "whoa horsey", not once has he ever mentioned falling off, so I'm not reminding him.

We also played with more of Ezra's cousins and I found myself relaxing more than I have since I've had kids. I hardly prepared any meals for Ezra (my mom and sister-in-law, Jamie, took care of it)! I sent Ezra down with Nana each morning while mommy and baby relaxed or, some mornings, slept in. I had my first Black Friday early bird adventure and it was a little lame. My fault though. I went with nothing particular in mind. I just wanted to "look" around. Well, you can't really "look" at anything in the crowds, so I mostly stood to the side until I saw an open aisle to move through. Still fun though and not nearly as horrible as everyone made it sound. I got to see many old friends and it was great. My neice, Lily, just loved Makai. She would say all day long, "baby, oh, it's a baby!" It was so funny. Ezra spent most of his time downstairs playing with Tyler's toys. I didn't get hardly any pictures, but what else is new...

Like I said, we're happy to be back and so so happy to be with daddy again, but Rexburg is just a little more depressing to me right now. I was quickly reminded how empty it feels, how there is nothing to do, how the stores in Idaho don't have hardly anything worth purchasing, how cold it is, how people don't know how to use 4-way stops out here, how lonely we are with our friends dwindling away and no family close by. Que sera sera. Tis the season to be jolly, so forget what I just said :)

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Christmas is right around the corner and I just can't believe it! We've got presents under our tree that James has to keep scolding me for trying to peek in. And even more presents in our closet that we have to keep Ezra's hand off! Can't wait for Santa to come this year!

Halloween and Makai's Baby Blessing

We kind of overdid ourselves this year for Halloween, but it was so hard not to since Ezra was so excited for it all. The Thursday before Halloween we went to "Boo at the Zoo." My friend Kami and her two boys invited us to go with them. They had several businesses around for trick or treating and most of the animals were still out so we had a lot of fun strolling along. It was a little too crowded for my liking, but it was still lots of fun. Though I will say, Ezra got in free and I had to pay for myself and they didn't even give me candy! I asked one girl for one piece and she gave me a funny look so I asked again and she handed it to me and didn't say anything. Excuse me? I'm the one who paid! Silly, I know, but everyone else was getting candy.
Then on Friday we went trick-or-treating at a local business, Melaleuca. They had it decorated really fun for the kids and it was indoors!

Then on Saturday we had Ezra's Halloween party. As usual, I forgot my camera. My friend, Cristina, and I made some pinatas, but they sort of fell apart before they were destroyed by the kids. Thankfully they were two year olds so it didn't really matter to them. We played pin the spider on the web with spiders that we all made, dig for the worms (the worms were buried in whip cream, though the kids weren't too into this one, Kami and I had fun for them). We also played find the ghost, musical plates and of course hit the pinata. It was fun and I am so greatful for the friends that came, but about half the people we invited didn't make it so the games went fast and we had lots of extra food, candy and goodie cups. I have learned my lesson to about spending too much on parties unless you know how many people are coming.
Later that night we went trick-or-treating at another local business, Fat Cats. Then we followed our friends to their wards trunk-or-treat. We got lots and lots of candy.

Ezra ended up being a lion. The day I went to put his lion costume on him he told me he wanted to be a hamburger which I had returned the day before. Oh silly boy. Now he keeps asking me if he can wear his, "lion coshtuume."

                                  

Makai was a bear. the girly scarf has nothing to do with his coshtuume. I find that babies in car seats usually get piled underneath things often. Well, at least my baby does. I always put my wallet and phone on him when we go to the store. Poor Kai.

Ezra hated wearing the lion head because he had a hard time seeing. He kept sneaking lollipops throughout the night and I just couldn't take them away from him. I mean, just look at how happy he is. I still find him climbing on the counter to open yet another lolli.

Makai's Blessing

11/7/10

So he was almost 3 months old when he was blessed. It just worked out that way, we weren't waiting intentionally. Although blessing him so late allowed my mother-in-law to be able to make the journey out here for it, so it was well worth the wait. Two of James' sisters and their families were able to make it too.

James was nervous about the blessing, but it was beautiful. My brother-in-law, Alex, said Makai was smiling up at them during the blessing. So sweet!

"Gammalene" (as Ezra calls her) got Ezra a new suit for church so naturally the second we got home I got him out of it so it wouldn't get messy. Sorry I don't have any pictures of my studly toddler in his suit. I'll get some.

Look at that face! Makai is now 3 months old and so smiley! People tell me often what a smiley baby he is and I agree. This picture doesn't show that. He has the biggest dimples and the cutest coos when he smiles. He's been "talking"  to me a lot more and I just love it. He's my little munchkin. Not sleeping well still, but I am slowly learning to fight through it during the day.

We're heading to Maryland this Wednesday for a family reunion and we're so excited. James has to be back for work on Black Friday so he'll be flying back Thanksgiving day. As for me and the boys, we're venturing out to New Hampshire to spend some time with my family. Wish me luck with two youngsters by myself!

Halloween Fun & Cute Boys

We were trying to decide on a Halloween costume for Ezra and this was his first choice:

 It was ruled out when he decided he didn't want to wear it for more than 2 minutes. I bought him a hamburger costume and was going to get a hotdog one for Makai, but after I was feeling guilty for spending money on a silly costume I asked Ezra if he even wanted to be a hamburger and he said no. He told me he wants to be a lion which is perfect because that was his costume last year and it still fits. I decided to let the 2 year old decide...

Ezra has been getting really excited about having a Halloween party. He talks about it all the time. However, I still don't have a place to have it, so we might be crammed in my little apartment last minute :( I've been trying to get Ezra excited about other things related to Halloween like fun crafts! We traced his hands for the spiders and his feet for the ghosts and he had a blast!

I caught Ezra putting these suction cups in very suspicious areas of his body during his bath the other night. I tried to get him to put them back for a picture, but he kind of missed here. Close enough... you get the idea. Who knows where he learned this.

And here's my little Makai. My love. He just has the sweetest smile. It makes me feel so happy when he looks at me and squeals with delight. I am finally getting the hang of having a newborn again and I'm even getting the hang of having a newborn and a toddler at home. I'm feeling so much better and way more confident each day. I still have moments, but I am happy. Ezra loves Makai more and more and he's really learning to be a good brother. He tries to teach him songs and he always asks him questions like, "what color?" or "what letter?" He still thinks he's cute and that makes life so much easier for me.

The End.

The Boys

Ezra just loves his brother. He is always getting in his face saying, "hi baby!" over and over again. He also calls him "so cute" and "schweet" all the time. He gets excited when I ask him if he wants to hold him. He's still trying to play with him, so I never ever leave the two of them alone in the same room- any more. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way. So far Makai has been sat on, stepped on, driven on, and folded into our travel swing-DANGER DANGER! I have cried with him almost every time and then repented for scolding Ezra for something he didn't realize was bad. He just wants to play with him.

Makai looks a lot like my dad in this picture. So far he isn't sleeping more than 3-4 hours at night, but he's been a lot better about falling back asleep after he eats instead of staying awake for awhile, so I'm not complaining near as much as I was :)

He has started smiling, but I have yet to catch a picture of it. He's so sweet. He is still a high maintenance baby, but not nearly as fussy as he was. I am starting to get the hang of being a new mommy again and things are getting a lot smoother. Thankfully my wonderful husband still wakes up with Ezra every morning and lets me sleep in. He says I'm a lot happier when he does that and I keep telling him I'll be even happier if he vows to change all the poopy diapers from now on...

 We got a new fridge! It was exciting until it came and we realized I ordered the wrong size. Oops. James had to borrow a sander and jigsaw from our friends so he could cut the cabinets to make it fit. It actually turned out great. James is quite proud of his "professional-looking" job and I am too. Then we had to change the hinges on the doors to open the other way. We were told it was "super easy". Maybe we should've mentioned we are not handy people... It became quite the little task, so Ezra swooped in to help and we got it all sorted out. Now we have a bigger and better fridge and I love it!

We've been getting out of the house every day now and Ezra seems a lot happier. Now we are working on planning Ezra's Halloween party and I am trying to decide what we should all be for Halloween. Any ideas? I'd love to coordinate our costumes. However, I have a feeling that we won't end up dressing up at all :(

A Good Wife

We have been married for 3 years as of August 31st. Being a good wife has become more of a challenge the longer we're married. I believe the reason is that now I have more and more responsibility with two kids and the fact that I am now a stay-at-home mom and don't have the excuse of homework and school for my messy house and lack of dinner on the table. I often complain to James about how hard it is to be a mom and a wife. Even though I love love love my "job" I still think it is just too much for one woman to have to handle all on her own. How do single moms do it? How did my mother-in-law do it? Well, I beg for the help of my husband often and when I'm not begging, I find myself in tears wondering why he isn't just stepping up to help me. He sometimes says, "Well, I've been at work all day and I just need to unwind..." Well, the other day I complained about how he is able to escape from the stress at home when he goes to work. He turned to me and said, "You act as if I am at the spa all day."

Through my husband's wit I learned a very important lesson. Yes, my husband should be helping me around the house and with the kids. Yes, it is hard work and I believe a woman should be praised by her husband often for what she does in the home. However, husbands have a hard job too. Who knew? I want so badly to be a good wife that I find myself stressing about all the things I think a good wife should be doing and that turns me into a nasty, selfish sort of wife. So, later that night I actually felt sympathy for my husband when he complained about his feet being sore from walking ALL day every day. I gave him a foot massage and instantly felt the love and desire he had to help me with what I needed from him. Funny, isn't that what we have been taught in this gospel all along?

We all probably have different definitions of what "a good wife" is and does, but one thing that I have learned is that my desire should not be to be "a good wife". My desire should be to love and serve my husband. If that makes me a good wife then I'll take the title, if it doesn't, then I'll still have a happy husband. I'm going to try. Ask me how well I do when I've spent all day listening to both kids scream... Well, it's worth the effort.

I just wondered how many other husbands and wives go through the same sort of "my job is harder than yours" debate... forget about it and just kiss each other. The End.

A Quick Update

Ezra went on his first real "amusement park" ride when the fair came to town. It was a lot faster than those quarter machine rides go, so he was a little scared, but as soon as his eyes were able to spot the blur he calls mommy and daddy, he was happy again.

Makai is getting so big. This was actually taken when he was only a week old and look how huge he looks! He's already in size 1 diapers (and has been since he was a week old) and he is now wearing 3 month clothes. Ezra was in newborn clothes for almost 3 months. Where did the newborn stage go? I would never wish this time away. The only thing I can't wait to be over is the broken sleep. I just wish he would start sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. But, I love him no matter how sleep drunk he makes me.

James was a little embarrassed that his tough little boy chose the pink and purple horse.

Ezra asks me to take him to the park just about every day. Before Makai came we were going to the park every day, but obviously having a baby makes that more difficult. Poor little Ezra is getting cooped up all day long and I think it is making him slightly crazy now too. He has resorted to jumping on the couch, his bed and mommy, using the back of the tub as a slide and swinging from daddy's pull up bar. He loves when his friends come to play. His new buddy Kaden has helped keep him busy and happy a couple times since Makai came and we all appreciate it! (Thanks Jennie!)

Here is Ezra all dressed up for church. There have been several times in the past couple of weeks when Ezra has brought me his shoes and told me he was going to church. I am so glad he loves church so much. He finally loves nursery and cries almost every time I come get him to go home.

We're all doing great here. James is working all the time and I am still trying to get the hang of two kids, but we're managing. Hope everyone is doing well.

(P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! WE LOVE YOU!!)

Ezra Has a Girlfriend

Ezra has developed a very passionate interest in the old navy mannequins. Especially the little girl his size. EVERY time we go into that store he will lift up her shirt or her dress to find her belly button. Well, this time, without any encouragment from us, he decided to give her a kiss.

I was a little grossed out by this, but I thought it was too cute and too funny to stop him.

 What is a mother to do when it starts this young?

I had to add these pictures because I just think my little man is such a stud:

So how is studly little Ezra adjusting to his new baby brother?

Mostly very well, but he is a jealous little one and is starting to become a little possessive over his mommy. He loves Makai and continues to hold him and kiss him and say, "aww baby" while rubbing his head or his tummy.

However, he doesn't enjoy me nursing because I can't just put Makai down to hold him and every time I change Makai's diaper Ezra asks me to change his. (Speaking of diapers, Ezra likes to look at Makai's poopy diapers, but it makes him literally gag and almost dry heave. Then he runs away saying, "gross." It is so funny!!) I am trying my best to keep my arms open for Ezra when I can and include him in taking care of Makai and helping me. He does love his baby brother though, he's always looking for him when he's sleeping and still excited to share his toys when he cries. I'll keep you posted on the jealousy issue.