About a month before James and I found out we were pregnant I found out I had Hypothyroidism. Still not sure how that happened. It may be genetic, but the only member of my family with a thyroid issue was diagnosed with the opposite problem (hyperthyroidism). The main symptoms I have experienced with it are fatigue, depression and hair loss. Not fun. As if being pregnant doesn't make me tired and hormonal enough, right?
I've been on medication since before I got pregnant and I get retested each month. I just found out that my levels are "out of whack" as my midwife put it. They raised my dose and will monitor more closely. Though the good news about that is: I have been feeling really depressed for the past week, but after about 4 or 5 days with the higher dose I am feeling quite a bit better, so at least it does seem to help.
I didn't realize what this meant in relation to my pregnancy and I kind of wish I didn't ask. Our baby is at a risk of mental disability. Now I'm paranoid and can't seem to think of anything else. I take my medicine and try to take care of my body hoping that our baby with have all the nutrients he needs, but it seems genetics or something else is fighting against me.
I also have a bleeding disorder called Von Willebrands. That is genetic. It basically means my blood has a hard time clotting which could result in a severe amount of blood loss leading to possible death. However, I haven't shown symptoms (and sometimes even show opposite symptoms), nor have I had a problem after either of my kids, so it isn't a real concern to me, but the doctors are a different story. I want to birth at the birthing center, but they are debating whether or not I'm a candidate. I'll be greatly disappointed if they tell me I can't.
No matter what, my greatest concern is for our baby. I just want him to be healthy and normal. It's just scary facing the unknown and hearing the word "risk" swarm around my head.
4 comments:
Oh my goodness you poor thing. My thyroid got really "out of whack" from Lyme and I was given medicine for it and I THINK it's better now cause a lot of the symptoms have gone away. But MAN. That fatigue, hair loss, depression...I totally had that. It's the worst thing ever. And I just hate that you're going through that. I'm glad you're getting some help for it though! And then add the other disorder and baby stress you must just be hangin by a thread. You are definitely in my prayers. Hang in there! It wont be this hard for long. You'll get better and it'll be easier. I promise!
I know how you feel about worrying if your baby will be okay. Just keep praying and I'll be praying for you, too. If you can't birth at a birthing center, you can still have your midwife with you,right? I didn't birth at a birthing center but my midwife and nurse made all the difference.
Ugh. I hate pregnancy worries. I'm so sorry. I've been having weird/crazy dreams about this baby having certain disorders that didn't even cross my mind with the girls. It's not fun to add extra medical complications to pregnancy! I hope you're feeling better soon.
We love you Kayleen! I don't know what else to say, but that seemed important, so I'll repeat it. We. LOVE. You!
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